Easy as 1, 2, 3

The Birds and the Bees.

Why do they even say the birds and the bees? I mean.... birds and bees aren't exactly compatible. Hold on I'm going to try and Google it....

SO.

The all powerful Wikipedia says that possible origins are some poem from 1640 or some other poem from 1825, or the song that's the opening song from "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_birds_and_the_bees)

BUT ANYWAYS. What to say about this topic. Welllllllll.... hmmm. Lets start with. How did you find out about... everything? School? Friends? Sex Ed? Parents? Now think about this... Would you want your 7 year old to find out the same way you did? Yes-- Then how will you replicated it? No-- then how will you prevent it?

There's so much in this world that if you don't make your kids become one of those weird deprived home school kids... they're going to learn something at an age that you're not prepared for. The best advice I've heard about teaching your kids about this is to make sure they know what they need to know that is appropriate for their age. However,  be prepared for unconventional questions. Children are naturally curious about everything, if they know they can ask you anything on any subject they will come to you about the things they've heard at school. Allow them to ask awkward or inappropriate questions and instead of saying, "DONT YOU DARE ASK WHY AUNT MARY IS FAT EVER AGAIN!" You can say something like, "That question is a bit harsh, Is "why does Aunt Mary have weight problems" what you meant to ask? This way they know they can ask any question, but you can teach them how to be polite and educated about talking about people that are different from them. It builds a trust relationship and they know they'll get answers that make sense. If not, they'll still be curious, and they'll still get answers.

Physical intimacy is a good and sacred thing, and if anything our children need to realize that it is a good thing in the right time. Dating. Marriage. Physical intimacy. 1,2,3. That is the best path to follow for divorce protection, and for happiness. Where nothing lasts we need to stress that a family can be forever.


P.S.
I feel like this class should have been divided in two. One day with just the married students, and one day with just the single students. :]

Oh No! I Married One of Those!

I was excited for the honeymoon! I mean! We went to Hawaii! But no one told me that when we got home he would sleep through his alarm clock every morning. OR that he would make us late everyday. Doesn't he know that Early is on time, on time is late, and late is rude? I like to be early and he likes to be.... not so early. When I got married, I didn't realize I married one of THOSE people.

Ok, none of that actually happened to me after I got married. He's actually the one that likes to be early, definitely not me. AND we went to Disneyland.. not Hawaii. But similar things did happen to us, like when I was expected to help drive even though I grew up with only my Dad would drive... that was weird. But think about it, when you grow up in a family you get used to things being a certain way and its hard not to get annoyed when things aren't done just so. But the first thing to realize however, is that he's going through the same thing. It's a process, combining lives is. You guys both come from backgrounds with good ideas of how to get the same task done in different ways. You just have to find which one's will be best for the both of you. But the most important part of everything is to talk about the expectations you guys have. If you saw your dad do something your whole life and defined that as "that means he loves mom", but then when your husband doesn't do it, you might begin to wonder if loves you. Don't worry, he does. He just shows it differently. Talking about your differences in expectations, and defining your boundaries is the BIGGEST divorce insurance you could ever invest in. Don't expect someone to read your mind, because they can't quite do that until you've been married for like a hundred years. And even then, you will probably have to still talk because you have so much memory loss. :]


So you may have married one of THOSE. But its not a reason to freak out, its a way to grow together in compromise.

D.A.T.I.N.G.

D is for Determine prey.
A is for Attracting his attention.
T is for Taking her out.
I is for Initiating DTR.
N is for Not going to work  out.
G is for Go back to start.


I feel like that just about sums up dating on campus. Everyone is on the prowl for their Eternal Mate, and wont stop until a grand wave of inspirational power washes over them and says, "YES! FINALLY you have found your soul mate! Took you long enough!" Doesn't that sound like a bad case of Ground Hog's Day? Where you just repeat and repeat and repeat the same scenario over and over and over again? But the sad thing is, so many people get caught up in this vicious cycle, and then wonder what is wrong with them, why are all these guys jerks? Or why are all these girls afraid of commitment?

Well lets look at this cycle for a minute. From the very start, the attraction wasn't mutual. She found him, and then most likely through some very skilled facebook stalking, found out everything about him so that they could be "The Girl" for him. Once he notices this girl and they start to date, either he'll begin to realize that she made her self up to something she's not, or she'll find out that he's nothing like his facebook page. So it becomes clear she's too immature for commitment, or he is a jerk because how dare he say he likes Disney on his profile but ends up as just another video game player.

And then you start over.

So what? You should never get married until you find someone who actually matches their Facebook? That seems a bit extreme to base your entire eternal progression on something you're kids wont even recognize. So what do you do? How do you get to know people you can date and eventually get married?

First, talk to people. See who they are. It's very easy within a few conversations to find peoples likes and dislikes. When you're talking face to face with people they are more likely to talk about what they are interested in now, and not what they "liked" on Facebook because it reminded them of when they were a child.

Second, as you get to know people gauge their depth level. Everyone can be your friend, but how many friends do you have that you can have deep conversations with? When you practice sharing personal things with good friends, it will be easier to share "everything" with a person you are dating that you want to someday marry. When you practice building deeper relationships with people, you may be surprised how close and how much love you feel for these people. Yes you can get hurt this way, its true. But if you've never been hurt, how can you appreciate or even recognize a relationship that wont betray you.

Third, don't date to marry. Date to learn. When you date to marry you get caught up in can I live with this person? Can I deal with this person? Can I? Can I? Can I? When you date to learn, your focus becomes what is there to learn from this relationship that will help me become a better father, mother, parent, or person. When you are willing to learn from everything about a relationship, you'll learn more than you ever thought you could. When you date to learn you'll buy a ring to match the girl, instead of finding a girl to match a ring you've already bought.

Dating is practice for marriage. If you don't practice enough before the big game against you're biggest rivalry how well can you expect to perform? Practice makes perfect still applies to Dating.




P.S.
Word of advice. Do NOT freeze sour cream....... it loses its texture and becomes grainy sour soup instead.