D is for Determine prey.
A is for Attracting his attention.
T is for Taking her out.
I is for Initiating DTR.
N is for Not going to work out.
G is for Go back to start.
I feel like that just about sums up dating on campus. Everyone is on the prowl for their Eternal Mate, and wont stop until a grand wave of inspirational power washes over them and says, "YES! FINALLY you have found your soul mate! Took you long enough!" Doesn't that sound like a bad case of Ground Hog's Day? Where you just repeat and repeat and repeat the same scenario over and over and over again? But the sad thing is, so many people get caught up in this vicious cycle, and then wonder what is wrong with them, why are all these guys jerks? Or why are all these girls afraid of commitment?
Well lets look at this cycle for a minute. From the very start, the attraction wasn't mutual. She found him, and then most likely through some very skilled facebook stalking, found out everything about him so that they could be "The Girl" for him. Once he notices this girl and they start to date, either he'll begin to realize that she made her self up to something she's not, or she'll find out that he's nothing like his facebook page. So it becomes clear she's too immature for commitment, or he is a jerk because how dare he say he likes Disney on his profile but ends up as just another video game player.
And then you start over.
So what? You should never get married until you find someone who actually matches their Facebook? That seems a bit extreme to base your entire eternal progression on something you're kids wont even recognize. So what do you do? How do you get to know people you can date and eventually get married?
First, talk to people. See who they are. It's very easy within a few conversations to find peoples likes and dislikes. When you're talking face to face with people they are more likely to talk about what they are interested in now, and not what they "liked" on Facebook because it reminded them of when they were a child.
Second, as you get to know people gauge their depth level. Everyone can be your friend, but how many friends do you have that you can have deep conversations with? When you practice sharing personal things with good friends, it will be easier to share "everything" with a person you are dating that you want to someday marry. When you practice building deeper relationships with people, you may be surprised how close and how much love you feel for these people. Yes you can get hurt this way, its true. But if you've never been hurt, how can you appreciate or even recognize a relationship that wont betray you.
Third, don't date to marry. Date to learn. When you date to marry you get caught up in can I live with this person? Can I deal with this person? Can I? Can I? Can I? When you date to learn, your focus becomes what is there to learn from this relationship that will help me become a better father, mother, parent, or person. When you are willing to learn from everything about a relationship, you'll learn more than you ever thought you could. When you date to learn you'll buy a ring to match the girl, instead of finding a girl to match a ring you've already bought.
Dating is practice for marriage. If you don't practice enough before the big game against you're biggest rivalry how well can you expect to perform? Practice makes perfect still applies to Dating.
P.S.
Word of advice. Do NOT freeze sour cream....... it loses its texture and becomes grainy sour soup instead.
A is for Attracting his attention.
T is for Taking her out.
I is for Initiating DTR.
N is for Not going to work out.
G is for Go back to start.
I feel like that just about sums up dating on campus. Everyone is on the prowl for their Eternal Mate, and wont stop until a grand wave of inspirational power washes over them and says, "YES! FINALLY you have found your soul mate! Took you long enough!" Doesn't that sound like a bad case of Ground Hog's Day? Where you just repeat and repeat and repeat the same scenario over and over and over again? But the sad thing is, so many people get caught up in this vicious cycle, and then wonder what is wrong with them, why are all these guys jerks? Or why are all these girls afraid of commitment?
Well lets look at this cycle for a minute. From the very start, the attraction wasn't mutual. She found him, and then most likely through some very skilled facebook stalking, found out everything about him so that they could be "The Girl" for him. Once he notices this girl and they start to date, either he'll begin to realize that she made her self up to something she's not, or she'll find out that he's nothing like his facebook page. So it becomes clear she's too immature for commitment, or he is a jerk because how dare he say he likes Disney on his profile but ends up as just another video game player.
And then you start over.
So what? You should never get married until you find someone who actually matches their Facebook? That seems a bit extreme to base your entire eternal progression on something you're kids wont even recognize. So what do you do? How do you get to know people you can date and eventually get married?
First, talk to people. See who they are. It's very easy within a few conversations to find peoples likes and dislikes. When you're talking face to face with people they are more likely to talk about what they are interested in now, and not what they "liked" on Facebook because it reminded them of when they were a child.
Second, as you get to know people gauge their depth level. Everyone can be your friend, but how many friends do you have that you can have deep conversations with? When you practice sharing personal things with good friends, it will be easier to share "everything" with a person you are dating that you want to someday marry. When you practice building deeper relationships with people, you may be surprised how close and how much love you feel for these people. Yes you can get hurt this way, its true. But if you've never been hurt, how can you appreciate or even recognize a relationship that wont betray you.
Third, don't date to marry. Date to learn. When you date to marry you get caught up in can I live with this person? Can I deal with this person? Can I? Can I? Can I? When you date to learn, your focus becomes what is there to learn from this relationship that will help me become a better father, mother, parent, or person. When you are willing to learn from everything about a relationship, you'll learn more than you ever thought you could. When you date to learn you'll buy a ring to match the girl, instead of finding a girl to match a ring you've already bought.
Dating is practice for marriage. If you don't practice enough before the big game against you're biggest rivalry how well can you expect to perform? Practice makes perfect still applies to Dating.
P.S.
Word of advice. Do NOT freeze sour cream....... it loses its texture and becomes grainy sour soup instead.
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